Saturday, January 24, 2009

Parental Guidance Suggested

This was inspired by an overheard exchange. I'm not usually one for large amounts of profanity, but this really fucking amuses me:


The Sopranos Meet Abbot and Costello



A: They give ball players some funny fucking names these days.

B: All right, fucking wise guy, tell me about the fucking team.

A: Well, we got Who on Fucking first, What the Fuck's on the second and Fuck You on third...

B: You don't know their fucking names?

A: Fucking right I do.

B: All right, who's on fucking first?

A: Fucking right.

B: I mean the fucker's name.

A: Who.

B: The fucker on first.

A: Who.

B: The first fucking baseman.

A: Who is on fucking first!

B: I'm fucking asking you who's on fucking first.

A: That's the motherfucker's name.

B: That's who's fucking name?

A: Fucking right.

B: Fucking tell me.

A: That's fucking it.

B: That's who?

A: Fucking right.

PAUSE

B: Look, you gotta a fucking first baseman?

A: Of course we fucking do.

B: So who's playing fucking first?

A: Fucking right.

B: When you pay the fucking first baseman every fucking month, who gets the fucking money?

A: Every fucking dollar.

B: All I want to fucking know is the name of the fucker on first fucking base.

A: Who.

B: The fucker that--

A: That's fucking it.

B: Who gets the fucking money?

A: Well, sometimes his bitch rolls down and collects it.

B: Whose bitch?

A: Fucking right.

PAUSE

B: All I'm trying to find out is what the fuck's the guy's name on first fucking base.

A: No. What the fuck's the guy's name on second fucking base.

B: I'm not asking you who's on fucking second.

A: Who's on fucking first.

B: One fucking base at a time!

A: Fuck. Take it easy.

B: I'm just fucking asking, who's the guy on fucking first?

A: Fucking right.

B: Ok.

A: All right.

PAUSE

B: What the fuck's the guy's name on first base?

A: No. What the fuck's on second.

B: I'm not fucking asking you who's on fucking second.

A: Who's on fucking first.

B: Fuck you.

A: He's on fucking third, we're not fucking talking about him.